I'm here, all is well, and the indoctrination process is in full action mode. It's a pretty hardcore religious environment but I knew I wasn't signing up for a month of MTV Yeshiva Beach House. I'm content if only because I have a good reason not to shave for a month.

There's a biblical analogy I learned today that I was going to use to illustrate how my Conde Nast dismissal led me to the Land of Israel but it would have involved representing Conde management as murderous, slave-driving Egyptians and that wouldn't be fair.

To the Egyptians.

Hey-oh! (Sorry, after 3 days of sitting in classes and listening to raucous rabbis use room-silencing parables, the tendency to tighten the Borscht Belt a few notches is overwhelming.) Anyway, I've decided I won't be blogging much of this trip. I'm presently sitting on a stoop getting free wifi on the edge of the Old City's Jewish Quarter near the Armenians and I don't have time for this. The end of days are nigh and there's a lot of Torah to study until then.

(Damn you Feld, this is all your fault! Seriously, if I'm not home by New Year's, please send a rescue team of hookers and booze.)