The Beard: Act One, Seen None
The shawarma curtains open to two guys on a street corner with the ringtone sounds of Iron Maiden's "Hallowed Be Thy Name" fading out...
CG: Oh, thank heavens. We were very worried when you said you would likely not be posting. Fearing the worst, we hired an operative on the ground in Jerusalem to tail you but for your safety, as well as his (or hers, we can't say, as I am sure you'll understand), said person shall have to remain nameless. Do not attempt to make contact with the op, as they are highly trained at blending in, avoiding detection, and growing beards.
YI: I think I know who the secret ops are - perhaps the 10 year old Armenians who compliment my shiny, great laptop and ask how much it costs? I tried to explain in so many words that it's more than their whole family will eat in a lifetime.
CG: Yes, in America, we get to buy great laptops with fast ability to show porn -- it's like renting the whores, instead of having to marry one.
YI: In other news, I'm really digging my beard. It's like a 70's style Playboy hair-pie on my face.
CG: I am growing a beard in solidarity. The tiny facial pubes are just starting to itch, but if I curl my tongue, it looks like a giant, alien clit.
YI: Exactly how the messiah is described in the Talmud.
CG: So, is it a barren desert over there? With sand in your ass crack and no potable water? That's how I envision it. But I'm probably thinking of the Bedouin. They're the ones that cut open their camel's stomachs to sleep in the warmth of the insides when they get stuck out in the deserts, right? (Man, Lucas totally stole that shit for "Empire." Nothing's sacred.)
YI: I dunno but I'll cover more geography tomorrow with a trip to the Dead Sea and Masada. For now, all I know is that Jerusalem (specifically the Old City) smells of kittens and kiddies. Homeless cats and baby yids running around everywhere.
CG: The kitty and diaper smell will be what you miss most once you leave, I suspect.
(Compiled without permission from emails with Kid Dig It and in no way connected to Michael McClure's masterpiece of ass.)
CG: Oh, thank heavens. We were very worried when you said you would likely not be posting. Fearing the worst, we hired an operative on the ground in Jerusalem to tail you but for your safety, as well as his (or hers, we can't say, as I am sure you'll understand), said person shall have to remain nameless. Do not attempt to make contact with the op, as they are highly trained at blending in, avoiding detection, and growing beards.
YI: I think I know who the secret ops are - perhaps the 10 year old Armenians who compliment my shiny, great laptop and ask how much it costs? I tried to explain in so many words that it's more than their whole family will eat in a lifetime.
CG: Yes, in America, we get to buy great laptops with fast ability to show porn -- it's like renting the whores, instead of having to marry one.
YI: In other news, I'm really digging my beard. It's like a 70's style Playboy hair-pie on my face.
CG: I am growing a beard in solidarity. The tiny facial pubes are just starting to itch, but if I curl my tongue, it looks like a giant, alien clit.
YI: Exactly how the messiah is described in the Talmud.
CG: So, is it a barren desert over there? With sand in your ass crack and no potable water? That's how I envision it. But I'm probably thinking of the Bedouin. They're the ones that cut open their camel's stomachs to sleep in the warmth of the insides when they get stuck out in the deserts, right? (Man, Lucas totally stole that shit for "Empire." Nothing's sacred.)
YI: I dunno but I'll cover more geography tomorrow with a trip to the Dead Sea and Masada. For now, all I know is that Jerusalem (specifically the Old City) smells of kittens and kiddies. Homeless cats and baby yids running around everywhere.
CG: The kitty and diaper smell will be what you miss most once you leave, I suspect.
(Compiled without permission from emails with Kid Dig It and in no way connected to Michael McClure's masterpiece of ass.)
Blog:
