All are invited to my Bar Mitzvah that will be held on December 15th at the "wake me up before you goy-goy" time of 8am at the Kotel (Western Wall) in Jerusalem. The service will be led by Ezra Wechsler who Laya of Jewlicious describes as "a funked-out young rabbi with a lovable crew of holy hippies." He is also the son of Rabbi Harlan Wechsler from the Upper East Side's Congregation Or Zarua.

I never had one when I turned 13 so I'm grabbing the opportunity as it hangs from an Israeli tree with all the weight of a watermelon. Festive drinking of red red wine, eating like a virgin olive oil coated lamb, wearing sunglasses at night, rocking like a hurricane, and neutron dancing in the dark (and sheets) will take place later in the evening. I would appreciate it if everyone could try their best to dress and act as if it was my original manhood year of 1984.

As Prince might say, let's go meshugah.