JC's big night got killed by the Elders at the Y?? Or did the Romans cross it off the schedule without nailing a confirmation? It's all very confusing but I better get a refund. I bought two tickets in frickin' August when the event was announced and I was all set to have a Bible Codes Crossword Puzzle Contest to give them away this week.

[If you're looking for something else to do on Thursday night, I suggest going to No Data's Office Holiday Party where the dress code is "commuter sneakers and bland skirts for females; pressed slacks and 60/40 dress shirts for the males. Ties optional."]

Perhaps Jesse Oxfeld, the real Jew of the two (but not nearly as pretty in a t-shirt), sabotaged the whole effort. It's interesting to note that Forward editor-in-chief J.J. Goldberg was scheduled to conduct the one-on-one with the half-queen well in advance of naming the Gawker duo to the Forward's 50 Most Influential Jews list. Make what you will of that but I point it out only to scoff at the falsely credited lines which Oxfeld stole from me:

"but read deeper and you'll quickly figure out that Jews, media and sex - which the Web site's editors call 'the Holy Trinity of our existence' - is a more accurate list of its preoccupations."

I swear dude, don't get anywhere near me in the world to come. You're getting the silent treatment.